THE MARRIAGE & FAMILY INSTITUTE

What the Bible Teaches About the Duties of Christian Husbands and Wives

The Rev. Dr. Christopher Hershman - December 25, 2007

A Christian husband is responsible for loving his wife completely and unselfishly, even to the point of self-sacrifice, just as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-33; Colossians 3:19). He is to comfort her (1Samuel 1:8), respect her (1Peter 3:7), consult with her (Genesis 31:4-7) and praise her (Proverbs 31:28). In particular, she is worthy of his praise because she has earned his confidence (Proverbs 31:11) through her diligence and prudence (Proverbs 31:13-27), and is a blessing to him (Proverbs 12:4; 31:10,12) who brings him honor (Proverbs 31:23). It is through his wife that a man can see God’s favor (Proverbs 18:22). Although a husband has authority over his wife (Genesis 3:16; 1Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23) he is also to consider her as part of himself (Genesis 2:23; Matthew 19:5). Duty and responsibility are not to interfere with a man’s duties to Christ (Luke 14:26; Matthew 19:29), and so the foundation for marriage is his relationship with Jesus Christ. A husband is even charged with the responsibility for having the knowledge and faith to be able to instruct his wife regarding the Bible and theology (1Corinthians 14:35). He is also responsible for providing enough for the family so that his wife can be benevolent to the poor (Proverbs 31:20). The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife because his body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. And so a husband must not deprive his wife sexually except by mutual consent and for a time, so that they may devote themselves to prayer. They are then to come together again so that Satan will not tempt them because of their lack of self-control (1Corinthians 7: 3-5). A husband should not select a wife from among the ungodly (Genesis 24:3; 26:34, 35; 28:1). However, if his wife is an unbeliever he should not divorce her (1Corinthians 7:11, 12, 14, 16). But if she leaves he is free. A man should have but one wife (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6-8; 1Corinthians 7:2-4) be faithful to her (Proverbs 5:19; Malachi 2:14, 15) and live with her for his entire life (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-9).

A good wife is a husband’s gift from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14) and a token of the favor of God. (Proverbs 18:22). Her diligence, prudence (Proverbs 31:13-27), good works (1Timothy 2:10; 5:10), and benevolent nature, especially for the poor (Proverbs 31:20) have secured her husband’s confidence (Proverbs 31:11), and he actively praises her (Proverbs 31:28) because she is a blessing (Proverbs 12:4; 31:10,12) and he is honored by having her as his wife (Proverbs 31:23). A wife is responsible for loving her husband (Titus 2:4), holding him in reverence (Ephesians 5:33) and being subject to him (Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22, 24; 1Peter 3:1) in obedience (1Corinthians 14:34; Titus 2:5). She is to be silent in the church (1Corinthians 14:34) and seek religious instruction from her husband (1Corinthians 14:35) yet serve as an exemplary minister (1Timothy 3:11). The wife should fulfill her marital duty to her husband because her body does not belong to her alone but also to him. A wife must not deprive her husband sexually except by mutual consent and for a time, so that they may devote themselves to prayer. They are then to come together again so that Satan will not tempt them because of their lack of self-control (1Corinthians 7: 3-5). A wife shall be faithful to her husband (1Corinthians 7:3-5, 10) and remain with him for life (Romans 7:2, 3). She should not divorce him, even if he is an unbeliever (1Corinthians 7:13,14,16; 1Peter 3:1,2). But if he leaves she is free.

The Estate of Marriage

Martin Luther, 1522

How I dread preaching on the estate of marriage! I am reluctant to do it because I am afraid if I once get really involved in the subject it will make a lot of work for me and for others. The shameful confusion wrought by the accursed papal law has occasioned so much distress, and the lax authority of both the spiritual and the temporal swords has given rise to so many dreadful abuses and false situations, that I would much prefer neither to look into the matter nor to hear of it. But timidity is no help in an emergency; I must proceed. I must try to instruct poor bewildered consciences, and take up the matter boldly. This sermon is divided into three parts.

The Estate of Marriage

Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles

Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles

The "Ten Principles on Marriage and the Public Good" are the result of scholarly discussions that began in December, 2004 at a meeting in Princeton, New Jersey, sponsored by the Witherspoon Institute. This conference brought together scholars from History, Economics, Psychiatry, Law, Sociology and Philosophy to share with each other the findings of their research on why marriage is in the public interest. A consensus developed for sharing the fruit of their collaboration more widely.

The Witherspoon Institute is an independent research center located in Princeton, New Jersey. It is not connected to Princeton University, Princeton Theological Seminary, The Center for Theological Inquiry, or the Institute for Advanced Study.

For more information contact the drafting committee of the Principles, at principles@winst.org.

Robert Gagnon, PhD

Robert Gagnon, PhD, is Associate Professor of New Testament at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary (PCUSA) and is presently one of the finest biblical scholars writing on the topic of human sexuality. Dr. Hershman has not only heard Dr. Gagnon speak on several occasions, but has met Dr. Gagnon personally and has been honored by being invited to speak as a featured speaker alongside Dr, Gagnon at a conference in Iowa several years ago. Dr. Gagnon's first book The Bible and Homosexual Practice is the definitive volume on this subject. After its publication, it was no longer possible to seriously argue that the Bible does not categorically prohibit same sex behavior within all circumstances and contexts.

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